What is Infantilism?

Adult babies and who are they and why? That's a difficult question. There are few studies and few studies on the subject.

There are basically two groups that we all break into though there is likely some crossover for sure. One falls into what is called Infantilism, the other into a fetish for diapers i will call Diaper wearers. Already you can see there are significant challenges to trying to break people into groups. I don't understand enough of it to make a strong case for my divisions made above other than to say there is definitely a group of us that fall into infantilism.

I have looked far and wide to find a definition of what infantilism looks like and have found one that i like, (i could be wrong);

"...true infantilism is marked by earliest of memories fantasizing of regressive dependencies. Usually always during early childhood & youth the individual believes they are isolated and alone with these regressive desires, and that no one else in the world is like them. These individuals for the most part keep their pervasive symptoms of needing to act-out the regression hidden from family, friends and significant others. A common theme revolves around wearing diapers, which in most cases will give rise toward a role-identification of an infantile personality. Over time the behavior in most all cases will expand to include other infantile objects such as pacifiers, baby blankets, baby bottles and soft stuffed figures." - What is True Infantilism? by Kathi Stringer

Why do i like this definition? Because it describes my experience pretty well! I also see i have a good handle on it. (i could be wrong again). Now read this ...

A Helpful Analogy

I’ll concrete this a bit further. Transitional Objects, a term coined by Winnicott, is an object of attachment that the infant uses to provide relief. In true infantilism, a diaper is a transitional object from ‘earliest’ memories….and holds a primary meaning of comfort and nurturing rather then a secondary sexual object.

This analogy may help to clarify true infantilism. A transvestite wears women’s clothing for sexual gratification, and clearly a fetish. On the other hand a transsexual wears women’s clothing from the desire to ‘become’ a woman and some cases with SRS the transformation is complete, and this is not a fetish for a transsexual. I see true infantilism as more connected to the transsexual aspect of this analogy. In essence, for the true infantile individual, a diaper is not a fetish but rather a Transitional Object with it’s origins in early childhood." What is True Infantilism? by Kathi Stringer

I am already feeling lots better about myself after reading that analogy. It is coming down to the one thing in life we all have to get to at some point. To accept and hopefully love who we are. If we don't get to that point then we could have some really tough times.

"I don't see how a therapist can help with regression, at least from my experience... UNLESS, the therapist is there to help with self-acceptance and validation. Once one can accept self, then the forces are not so relentless......it brings a feeling of.....I am okay....I am a unique individual and it is okay to be me. If you can accept that, then life becomes more rewarding, and that inner child becomes loved. Each needs their own time. One should not starve the other, or put guilt on the other.....you are what you are." - What is True Infantilism? by Kathi Stringer

Now that's just what i said above. You are what you are and deserve to be validated! Again, that has proved to be the case in much of the work with gay men i have done over the years. I'm not linking Infantilism with gay men, but the analogy is - that despite what the social norms are, you are different and the sooner you can accept that the happier you will be and eventually non gays will accept you.

I will be writing more as time permits me. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Leave a comment either way or if you just don't know say so!

Read Kathi's full page here